Lord, You see me…April 7, 2013 - Author: Bernadette Saddik
In my every breath, You see me.
Behind the smiles, You see the frowns.
Behind the laughter, You see the sobs.
Behind the enthusiastic energy, You see the utter exhaustion.
You see me.
There is no hiding behind the wall of “It’s OK.” I’m really not.
There is no showing you only a part of the picture of how I really am.
In front of You, I need not try to be strong to lift others up. Between You and me, I am completely weak.
And that’s alright.
Your heart may break at the sight of my pain, but You are bigger than it. My heart won’t break at Your seeing me raw and unfiltered.
I can cry myself to sleep at night, comforted by You, an ever-present Help, my Shelter, my Shepherd.
You do not judge me by my inabilities or appearances.
You do not make me feel guilty for causing sadness.
The pain must be protected. Is it wrong to shield others from the storm in me? Most of me doesn’t want to expose the fullness of my situation.
I expend excess energy to seem mentally clearer.
I’ve figured out the right products to give my skin more color.
I’ve learned to wince and cry inside where no one can see, except You.
But, some days, I think I’m about to shatter. It can be so hard not to reveal my complete thoughts and feelings. I get frustrated when people tell me how good I look, or how well I seem.
I suppose I bring this on to myself–after all, how can one expect others to be mind-readers? They discern from what they see. And only You see all of me.
Besides, they speak to me with Your love and compassion. Through them, You are my support system. Every small victory is worth praise.
Nevertheless, it wrongly causes doubt.
It causes alienation.
It causes raging anger.
And then I remember You. What matters most is what You know, what You see, what You do.
And You know the extent of my pain.
You see the deep-reaching suffering.
You love me despite my flaws and surround me with wonderful people.
My heart cries out for a friend, and You Lord, are my Friend. The Keeper of my secrets, the Prince of peace. One day, I might be ready to show the world all of me.
For now, though, I will not burden others with the entirety of my lot. I will show others the comfort You so mercifully give. You have called us to be Your lamps, and that is what I’ll do.
Because it is enough that You see me.
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, Who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 NIV